Appunti dalla Polonia

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted. One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

I've just let it slip. Why? Because i was scared of the future, because I didn't want to get involved in something bigger then drinking beer/dancing/getting drunk/not getting enough sleep. And because my instinctive thoughts didn't look reliable to me, for the first time in who knows how much time. Or because i'm weak, I can't just let go and do what I feel, I have to think instead about everything and about every little problem or difficulty that might occur to me.
But what's more, is that I let it slip twice. In a couple of hours.
Or maybe it's because I actually didn't want it, because my mind is going in another direction and that was simply not the right thing to do. Because I was looking for something else, better or worse I don't know.
But most probably it's because I simply don't know what I want. Confusion has taken possess of my mind, and I don't know when it will leave it. Of one thing I'm sure: that confusion always leads to a superior state of consciousness. The more the confusion, the bigger the jump.
I'm full of hope.